


Secret Admirer Bot

by Beewachan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, Happy Ending, KIK, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Secret admirer bot, first fic, nekoma groupchat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 15:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beewachan/pseuds/Beewachan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo receives a message from Inuoka via the secret admirer bot, and things get a little messy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Admirer Bot

**Author's Note:**

> Individual messages are in bold. Groupchat is underlined

September 5th

 

   “Hey Kenma, have you heard of the secret admirer bot on kik?” Kuroo asked Kenma, who was raiding Kuroo’s fridge after practice.

   “No.” He replied unintentionally curtly as he took some apple pie out of the fridge. Kuroo always bought it when he went to the grocery store because he knows it’s Kenma’s favorite.

   “I just got a message from Inuoka through it.”

   Kenma internally snickered at the thought of someone liking Kuroo and asked, “How do you know it's from Inuoka if it's a  _ secret admirer  _ bot?”

  “I don't know how it works. Wanna find out by sending some notes?” Kuroo smirked.

  Kenma didn't feel the need to answer because he knew Kuroo would send more without affirmation.

  “Let's send one to Yaku.” Kuroo said. He selected send note, to shorthairisbetter, then he began to type a message, trying to mimic Lev’s texting style.

 

**_I LOVE U BABE UR RECEIVES R SO AMAZING AND UR LACK OF HEIGHT IS ENDEARING_ **

 

**** Kuroo hit send and was asked if he would pay 25 kik points for 0% chance of Yaku being told he was the sender, 15 kik points for 25% chance, or pay nothing with a 50% chance of getting caught. He chose to pay 25 kik points to ensure Yaku would not know it was him.

  Less than two minutes later, Yaku sent a screenshot of the message to the Nekoma team group chat.

(5:32) Yaku: Guys, I don't think Lev will be at school tomorrow.

(5:32) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): wut

(5:33) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): y not

(5:33) The real ace Yamamoto: WHO IS SENDING OUR PRECIOUS LIBERO LOVE NOTES

(5:34) The real ace Yamamoto: I’LL KILL THEM

(5:34) The real ace Yamamoto: UNLESS IT’S A CUTE GIRL

(5:35) Yaku: You'll find out soon “y not” :)

(5:35) Inuoka(＾∇＾): better run lev

(5:46) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev) has removed Yaku from the group chat

(5:46) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): GUYS YAKU IS BANGING ON MY FRONT DOOR

(5:47) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev):KAI PLS CONTROL UR TINY FRIEND

(5:47) Kai: I'm sending Yaku a screenshot of this.

(5:47) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev) KAI WHY ARE U DOING THIS 2ME

(5:48) Kuroo (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧: I hope Yaku gets him good

(5:48) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): GUYS HES FUCKING PICKING MY LOCK

(5:48) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): CAPTAIN DONT LET HIM INJURE ME FOR THE SEASON

(5:48) Kuroo(๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧ :LOL

(5:48) Kai: LOL

(5:50) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): GUYSAKEJUOSK SKISJSJHELPNNSJMFE

(7:15) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev) added Yaku to the group chat.

(7:16) ACE OF NEKOMA (lev): Guys, this is Yaku. Lev can't come to school tomorrow. He's not allowed to sit on his ass for two days, so he won't be at practice, but once he's back, I'll be sure to make up for lost time.

(7:17) The real ace Yamamoto: GUYS I JUST GOT A NOTE

 

  Kuroo snickered at the screen as he watched a screenshot of the message he had just sent through the Secret Admirer bot appear in the group chat.

 

**_Dear Yamamoto, I am very shy, and I apologize if my shyness comes off as rude at times. I was afraid to confront you myself regarding this matter, so here's my message. I think you're lovely. If you can figure out who I am and confront me face to face about this, I'll be your girlfriend. <3_ **

(7:17) The real ace Yamamoto: WHO COULD IT BE

(7:17) The real ace Yamamoto: KAI PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS

(7:18) Kai: No

(7:18) The real ace Yamamoto: CAPTAIN PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS

(7:18) Kuroo (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧: how come I wasn't your first choice?

(7:19) The real ace Yamamoto: IM SORRY CAPTAIN FORGIVE ME

(7:19) Kuroo (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧ : I’ll teach you how to talk to girls if you do what I say for a week.

(7:19) The real ace Yamamoto: DEAL

 

  Kenma peered over Kuroo’s shoulder to see what he was laughing at and reminded him, “You're having way too much fun with this you know. I came over because we’re supposed to be studying, remember?”

  “The fun’s just getting started,” Kuroo began with that obnoxious laugh of his. Kenma sighed and opened up his textbook to begin reading the material while Kuroo was occupied with sending more love notes

 

***

  
  


   Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou strolled together side by side after an evening of volleyball practice. It was 8:00 in the evening, but they had left early today because Akaashi told Bokuto he had a project due and could only stay for two hours of extra practice today, rather than the usual 4. Akaashi listened to Bokuto's familiar banter as they walked home, but was alarmed when it was suddenly stopped by a ping, shortly followed by two more.

Bokuto retrieved his iPhone from his pocket and read aloud, "Welcome to Secret Admirer, HOOT HOOT! Nice to meet you. I'm the Secret Admirer bot, here to deliver secret notes, and guess what... you just got one! Akaashi! Someone likes me! I'm the best!" He beamed before continuing his reading, "You received a note from a secret admirer, exciting right? Check it out... who could it be? The note reads…

**_I will pawlways love you_ **

  Who do you think it is, Akaashi?" Bokuto asked excitedly.

Akaashi took a moment to think through the possibilities: 1)Akaashi doesn't tell him and everyone at school, especially the volleyball team, has to hear about Bokuto’s secret admirer, 2) Akaashi tells Bokuto it is Kuroo and Bokuto expresses his love for Kuroo back, and 3) Akaashi tells Bokuto it is Kuroo and he becomes despondent that he doesn't have a real secret admirer. "I don't know, Bokuto-san." Akaashi decided to avoid any possible dejection of Bokuto.

"Guess, Akaashi!" Bokuto demanded.

Since Bokuto pushed him, Akaashi decided to end Bokuto's high by saying, "The note was from Kuroo."

"Akaashi, come on! Kuroo doesn't like me like that! He's my bro."

"Who would make a cat reference and confess love in the same message?"

"Fine, I'll just ask him myself."

"Okay Bokuto-san, but I have to turn now. You can text me about it later."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, Akaashi." Bokuto said with a hint of sadness. Bokuto watched as Akaashi turned the corner until he was no longer in sight. It always made him upset to say goodbye. Bokuto was excited to have a secret admirer, but deep down inside, he hoped Akaashi was right that the admirer was Kuroo pranking him because he only had eyes for Akaashi.

Bokuto opened up the FaceTime app and called Kuroo, who was on speed dial. The call was soon answered, but the face Bokuto was greeted by was Kenma's. "Kuroo isn't available right now." Kenma said in a monotone, and Bokuto could hear Kuroo rambunctiously laughing in the background. Kenma quickly ended the facetime, and Bokuto tilted his head in confusion (looking strikingly similar to an owl l0l) before continuing on his way home.

 

September 6th

 

   Bokuto received yet another note this morning reading,

 

**_You're the best!_ **

**_P.s. Your guns are the hottest_ **

 

   He did not hesitate to brag about this. In fact, he got sent out of 3 classes and earned a detention in the process despite Konoha and Sarukui’s efforts to calm him. During lunch Bokuto received another note.

**_You are so boyfriend material_ **

  Bokuto read the note to Akaashi who shrugged it off and continued reading his book.

  “Did you hear that, Akaashi? I'm boyfriend material.” Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows.

  “You're wrong, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi replied.

  “Akaashi!” Bokuto yelled loud enough to turn the heads of an entire school; luckily, the two ate alone in the club room. “You're supposed to say ‘yes you are’!”

  Akaashi simply nodded and buried his head in his book again for the rest of lunch.

  “Akaashi, would you mind helping me study for my math exam?”

  “When is it?”

  “Next Monday.”

  “I'll help you on Sunday, okay?”

  “Thanks, Akaashi! You're the best!”

   Akaashi giggled quietly, “I thought you were the best, Bokuto-san."

 

Saturday, September 8th

 

"I can't believe you were behind those stupid messages!” Bokuto said as he lowered an eyelid and stuck out his tongue at his best friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo smirked at this and walked over to Bokuto, who had just walked into his bedroom.

"I have a proposal."

"Ohoho?" Bokuto said as he sat down on Kuroo's bed, Kuroo following behind him.

He propped his head on his hands and said, "I'll send Kenma a message if you send one to Akaashi." Bokuto stared at him in shock at how utterly stupid Kuroo's statement had been.

"Fuck no." Bokuto replied

"Aww, come on bro. He'll never know it was you."

"No."

"I'm going to send one to Kenma." Kuroo said as he opened up kik on his phone. Bokuto couldn't help it, his curiosity was piqued.  He leaned over Kuroo's shoulder and watched him type into the screen.

 

**_We’d make the purrfect couple._ **

**_Can I spend all my 9 lives with you?_ **

 

Admirer bot replied, “So, you can send this across a crowded classroom, but there's a 50/50 chance you'll get caught ;) If you have Kik points to spend, you can use them to buy a delivery method with better odds. Sound good?”

Kuroo was given two options “I'll take my chances” and “I'll pay.” He was also given the choice, “chicken out,” but he didn't see that as an option. Before Kuroo could pick, Bokuto took Kuroo’s phone out of his hands and tapped “I'll take my chances.”

   Kuroo watched in horror as the bot replied “Your crush has been informed it's you who sent that note ^-^ Hey, it happens! Brave enough to send another one?” Kuroo shot Bokuto the most pestilent glare that Bokuto had ever received in his lifetime, and my oh my, has he received a lot. Kuroo didn't know what he was going to do to get back at his best friend yet, but the both of them knew it was going to be ugly.  

 

*meanwhile in the Kozume household*

 

  Kenma was lying on his bed holding his PSP in front of him when he felt a vibration coming from his phone lying on the other side of the bed. Kenma paused his game and read what was on the screen.

 

**_You got a note from Kuroo (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧ ... check it out!_ **

 

**_The note reads … “We’d make the purrfect couple. Can I spend all 9 of my lives with you?”_ **

 

**_Kuroo’s username is theprettiestkitty15 if you wanna chat_ **

 

  Kenma grimaced at the screen as he thought, _ I paused my video game for this.?  _ He wanted to ignore the message, but he figured Kuroo would be upset if he didn't answer, so Kenma wrote him a message.

 

**_I guess we can_ ** [spend all 9 lives together]

 

  However, Kenma was so eager with the thought of returning with his video game that he forgot to press send.

 

***

 

  Bokuto and Kuroo had been marathoning the game of thrones for a solid 7 and a half hours now, and Bokuto had fallen asleep on Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo smirked to himself once he realized that this was the perfect opportunity for vengeance. He carefully removed Bokuto’s phone from his pocket and found that his pass code was seven digits long.  _ Oh what could it be?  _ Kuroo joked to himself as he entered 2522744 - Akaashi. He was careful to silence the phone, making sure its notifications - or the sound of a pass code being entered for that matter - don't wake Bokuto.

   Kuroo launched kik and began a conversation with the Secret Admirer Bot. He selected ‘send a note,’ ‘to the.wisest.owl5’ and began typing away - a provoking smile plastered on his face the entire time.

 

**_Dear Akaashi,_ **

**_I have been in love with you for several years now. My heart skips a beat when I'm with you. You’re the fire to my candle. You're the peanut butter to my jelly. You're the nest to my owl. You're the toss to my spike. I am so lucky to have you in my life._ **

**_-Yours truly (OvO) <3_ **

 

  Kuroo hit send and proceeded to tap ‘I'll take my chances’. To Kuroo’s choler, the bot replied with,

 

**_Your note made it and your secret is safe ... am I the best, or am I the best?_ **

 

   Kuroo rolled his eyes, knowing Akaashi would figure out that Bokuto sent the note anyways. It was 2:00 a.m. now, and he was growing worried due to Kenma not replying to his message. Kuroo had wishfully thought Kenma didn't see the message at all, assuming Kenma was too busy playing a videogame to open up kik.

 

Sunday, September 9th

 

  Bokuto woke up, drooling on his best friend’s shoulder. He chose not to wake Kuroo up because Kuroo doesn't like being woken up, and he has to be extra nice after sending that message to Kenma. At least he thought he did… Until he found his phone in Kuroo’s lap. The screen illuminated in Kuroo’s dark room at 6:00a.m.

 

**_(1) kik message from: Akaashi Keiji_ **

**_Don't wake me up at 2:03 in the morning again._ **

 

  The message left Bokuto puzzled. He was sure he was asleep by 12:30 a.m. Bokuto launched kik, seeing that he and Akaashi had exchanged no messages between 12:30 and 2:03, so he checked the chat with the Secret Admirer bot. He sent a message at 2:02, but it said that his identity wasn’t revealed, so how did Akaashi know it was him? Bokuto contemplated asking Akaashi, but he figured it was best to not risk waking him up again.

  He wanted to be angry at Kuroo, but he knew that he deserved it for sending Kenma that message, and laughed to himself at the thought of it. He went to Kuroo’s unusually organized desk, found a pen, paper, and tape, and wrote a note for Kuroo, taping it to his best friend’s forehead.

 

**_I had to go bro; I have a study date with Akaashi later. Call when u r awake ;)_ **

***

  It was 11:37 in the morning, and Bokuto was reading over the lessons that would be tested on his next calculus test, so he knew what to ask Akaashi for help with. He was having trouble focusing. Every time Bokuto tried to read through the steps to solve each problem, his mind drifted to thoughts of Akaashi knowing he was in love with him and Akaashi’s brief response. His studying continued this way for another hour and a half, when Akaashi had knocked on Bokuto’s front door.

  Bokuto was glad to have a valid reason for a break from studying - getting up and answering the door - until he realized that it was Akaashi at the door. His thoughts were running wild through his mind, he broke a slight nervous sweat, and opened the door quickly like ripping off a bandaid.

  “H-hi,” Bokuto stuttered.

  Akaashi greeted him with the usual, “Hello, Bokuto-san,” but Bokuto could tell Akaashi wasn’t completely at terms with the message he had received from Bokuto, although written by Kuroo, either because he was pressing his fingertips together. The two stood in uncomfortable silence for about a minute when Bokuto realized he hadn’t given Akaashi permission to come in.

  “Oh, you can come in,” He said awkwardly. Akaashi nodded and stepped inside the home then made his way and welcomed himself into Bokuto’s room while Bokuto got them refreshments; it was tradition.

  He walked in only to find Bokuto’s phone buzzing and the screen lit up with Kuroo’s name across it. Akaashi decided to pick up the call rather than ignoring it or bringing it to Bokuto, and for once in his life, he didn’t think of repercussions before doing so.

  “I just woke up, bro,” Kuroo’s lazy voice came through the phone. “Did Akaashi answer my message?” Akaashi could practically hear the smile on his face.

  “Hello, Kuroo-san.”

  “Oh shit,” The realization came to Kuroo.

  “Oh shit, indeed, Kuroo-san.” Bokuto walked in the room with tea as he heard Akaashi speak into his phone.

  “Akaashi! What are you doing?”

  Akaashi muttered an apology to Kuroo and put down the phone, “I was speaking with Kuroo-san.”

   “What did he say to you?” Bokuto said with an irresistible pout.

   “‘Did Akaashi answer my message?’” Akaashi tried to mimic Kuroo’s voice.

   Bokuto gulped, “Akaashi, I can explain.”

   “I should have known you didn’t write it since the message lacked abbreviations.” Akaashi chuckled, and Bokuto blushed. Akaashi plopped down on his captain’s bed and set the phone down next to it.

   “But why did you think it was me who sent it?” Bokuto asked

   “The emoticon, ‘you’re the nest to my owl’, and ‘you’re the toss to my spike’. At first I thought it was Konoha and Komi, maybe even Sarukui, but then I remembered, they’re afraid of my wrath after the last incident.”

   “What incident?” Bokuto’s large eyes slightly widened with curiosity.

   “I didn’t want you to see, so I didn’t express my rage until you left to the club room.” After that sentence, Bokuto decided it was best not to pry further.

   By now, Bokuto had set the tea on his desk and laid his torso and upper thighs onto the bed, next to Akaashi’s - not too close, but just enough to make his heart pound.

   “So, uh, let’s say I actually was in love with you-” Bokuto began but was cut off by Akaashi’s fingers pressing onto his lips.

   Akaashi traced his fingers upon Bokuto’s lips and lowered his hand to intertwine their fingers, “I love you, too, Bokuto-san.”

EXTRA:

“So, you don't hate me?” Kuroo nervously ruffled a hand through his hair.

“How could I ever hate you?” Kenma internally rolled his eyes; he couldn't do it externally because that would mean looking away from his game. 

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

“Kenma!” Kuroo wailed.

“Hey, a new bakery opened up around the corner. Wanna check it out with me?” Kenma said as he turned off his PSP. 

Be cool, Tetsurou. “Yes,” his reply was short although he was internally jumping about and ready to cry joyous tears. 

“Kay, let’s go.” Kenma shoved his keys into his pocket and opened the door, not waiting for Kuroo to exit before walking towards the bakery himself. 

Kuroo scrambled after him, and he went as far as to daring to hold Kenma’s hand. To Kuroo’s shock, Kenma didn't brush him off. He didn't exactly hold back either, but that didn't matter.

Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by the pleasant surprise.

“Kuro, are you crying?”


End file.
